Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
