You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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