man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
