i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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