So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
