I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
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He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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