i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
