You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
