Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
