im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
