on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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