How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
