I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize