if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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