What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
