hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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