Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
