dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
