so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize