Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
