That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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