I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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