ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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