ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
