..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
