can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
