I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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