I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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