Quick, to the slutcave!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
