be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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