I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
