Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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