Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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