I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
