i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
