Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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