What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
