getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
