Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
