I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
A+ Viking dick
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
