Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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