**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
