In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
