I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
