When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just found puke in my bra..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
