Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
