Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
