You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
