He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize