batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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