Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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