remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
