it hurts more in the daytime
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
