i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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