Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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