I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
