Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
