Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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