After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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