I am spending my child support on dildos
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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