please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
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Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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